Fake News Network

"Unemployed for over thirty years - CGI man finally finds job thanks to Trump!"

On January 4th 2018 the White House Press Corps got treated to something really special, another historic presidential move that is one of many of the great accomplishments of President Trump, and something that the fake news media doesn’t want you to see, long time unemployed CGI man gets a job after more than thirty years of unemployment. It may seem slightly odd, but if you think about what really #MAGA is and what it is that makes America great, it’s some of what was happening in the nineteen-eighties! The timing was perfect to bring some of it back today. President Trump added after the news briefing, “I feel that Max and I can work together beautifully, you know, to fight things like virtual currency and cyber threats, like the ones that my cabinet members have been getting. You need a virtual cyber “good guy” to fight these nasty things…” Trump also quipped, “…and maybe Max can actually find Crooked Hillary’s emails!”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders introduced Max Headroom who was prominently displayed on a large screen monitor in front of the awaiting and confused press corps. “Max is just another example of one of the many failures of the previous administration that President Trump has had to clean up. Max Headroom lost his employment over thirty years ago, the demand for CGI created men was very low and most of those jobs moved overseas where CGI men worked for much less. CGI people like Max Headroom eventually just gave up looking for work and went into sleep mode. And thanks to President Trump, Max is now working again, helping to make America great, again!” Sarah went on to add, “Max’s assistance with news briefings will help alleviate the President’s overloaded and ever growing schedule. No other president in history has kept a work pace such as President Trump. This will allow President Trump to add more time to his Executive Time slot on his daily schedule which is when he does his billionaire work on the back nine.” 

Max then proceeded to answer questions for the news briefing.

Overall the general consensus of the press corps was one of welcome change, even if odd at first. One press corps reporter is quoted, “Despite the digital stuttering of Mr. Headroom’s presentation, overall he answered all questions directly and intelligently. Much less incorrect information or verifiable lies like it is usually with President Trump. And Mr. Headroom’s sense of humor and jokes are actually funny opposed to being uncomfortably awkward.”

This seems to be just one step in a new direction to instill President’s Trump campaign slogan to Make America Great Again. Inside White House sources say there are other possible administration announcements upcoming that might include MC Hammer as the new head of the IRS, making MTV actually play good music videos, and bringing former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to head up a new department of defense for threats from robots and time travel.